FERTILITY

When Everyone Else Is Pregnant

Jessica Sirias VasquezLMFT, PMH-C · Founder of Nurture and Bloom

6 min read October 27, 2026

A compassionate guide to relationships, boundaries and difficult emotions while trying to conceive.

Who this guide is for

This guide was created for those that may feel hijacked by pregnancy announcements or feel stuck seeing others enter their parenting journeys.

So much can show up during this season of life. While everyone else is beginning their parenting journey, it may feel like your life is at a standstill. This can bring up particularly difficult emotions that are overwhelming to sit with. If this is you, you've landed in the right place and I'm here to tell you you're not alone.

Understanding your emotions

Below are some common emotions that may show up for you.

Envy. This is one of the most common emotions that show up in response to seeing other people become parents. It can be quite surprising to find yourself feeling this way. And it's not because you're a bad person. It's because there's such an intense desire to become a parent and you feel incredibly defeated.

Isolation. Going through a difficult and longer than expected fertility journey can feel quite isolating. It's societally expected that one can quickly become pregnant and many people are quite uncomfortable to talk about fertility challenges. It can therefore feel like you're navigating an invisible journey, feeling stuck, while the rest of the world lives on.

Grief. Many people struggling to conceive may not frame what they're experiencing as grief because it's thought that you haven't necessarily lost someone. However, grief is more complicated than that and it may actually feel like you lose a lot on this journey. It may feel like you've lost the future you had imagined in the timeline you had imagined it. It may feel like you've lost a version of yourself that used to exist before this journey. It may also feel like you've lost connection with friends or family who may not completely understand what you're going through. The list can go on.

Navigating relationships and boundaries

It is common for relationships to shift when you're having a difficult fertility journey. Especially with friends and family who may not completely understand just how difficult this is for you. Below are some ideas on how to support preserving your relationships while setting boundaries and protecting your peace.

Friends and family

Identify the level of transparency you will have in each relationship. How much do you feel comfortable sharing? Is it safe to be vulnerable? Will you receive a supportive response by being honest?
If you need to be more discreet about your fertility journey, a few ways to share just enough is to share (1) you're going through some medical challenges and don't feel ready to talk about it yet, (2) you want to have kids and will hopefully have kids in the future, (3) we are trying so we will see what happens.
Identify the kinds of events and hangouts that fulfill you in the relationship and ones that you can tolerate. The ones that don't may call for you to sit those out.
When it starts to become a recurring pattern that you're not attending baby showers, birthday parties, and other events that feel triggering, you might feel pressured to share what's really going on with friends and family. If you feel like you don't want to disclose too much, you might say something like "We have been trying to conceive and have been having a hard time. This is a really sensitive matter to me and the support I really need from you is to understand that I may need to opt out of these events. It's not because I don't care but it's because it is just too hard."

When you and your partner's experience is different

When your partner is grieving or coping differently on this journey, it can feel like you're both out of sync. Maybe one partner is feeling more hopeful, trying to stay positive while the other is feeling hopeless and defeated. While both experiences are valid, it is important to identify ways to continue to show up for one another and meet each other where you're at. Below are helpful questions to ask one another to find a supportive balance in moving through this difficult journey together:

How are you feeling these days? What is particularly difficult for you? What are you needing from me when you feel this way? How might I be able to show you that I understand your experience?
When sharing what you feel with one another, clarify whether you want your partner to listen or problem solve with you or both.
Have regularly scheduled check-ins to express what is going well and what isn't, what you feel grateful about your partner, and what needs you have that you want your partner to know about.

Consuming information and social media

Trying to conceive can very easily become the center of your life. Everything you read about, listen to, or look for revolves around increasing your chances of conceiving or trying to find an answer that the doctors won't give you. This is a very common experience and it can also create a lot of anxiety and burnout. Below are helpful boundaries to consider:

Followings on social media: Ask yourself, is this account bringing any value in my journey and well-being? Do I need to take a break?
Consider muting accounts or apps that are causing more anxiety or overwhelm for you. Helpful devices like Brick can also be helpful.
Try to opt into consuming information that is going to help you feel good about yourself and your body. Focus on things that can nourish you and help you reconnect with yourself. This is all going to be helpful for TTC too!

Supporting yourself through difficult emotions

Focus on what helps you feel supported

When you're having a challenging fertility journey, it's easy to feel like you're failing. It can be helpful to connect with the parts of yourself that help you feel supported and held.

Spend extra time doing things that you're good at and confident doing.
Read books, listen to music, or watch movies that uplift you and help you connect with feel-good emotions. This can include watching your favorite childhood TV show or reading a book where you can escape reality.
When you're needing an outlet to express your emotions, it can also be helpful to listen to sad music or watch a sad movie to help you let out the emotions you're feeling.
Do you feel like you need a laugh? Or spend some time doing something fun? Tap into the people that help you feel this way. You don't need to necessarily share the details of your journey but simply sharing that you feel like you need a good laugh or do something fun and need their help for this.

When to seek support

This journey is already isolating as it is. You don't need to carry this on your own. Below are signs you may need support from a mental health professional:

You spend most days feeling disconnected from yourself, going through the motions, or on edge.
You feel overwhelmed by the grief, anger, or sadness that comes from this journey.
You're noticing that the impact of this journey is affecting your relationships, work, or day-to-day functioning.

Mental health resources

Postpartum Support International
Call or text 1-800-944-4773. Offers free support, referrals, and free weekly online support groups for those navigating infertility and pregnancy and infant loss.

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Call or text 1-833-852-6262. 24/7, free and confidential.

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988. 24/7 support for emotional distress or crisis.